Monthly Archives: March 2015

Normal

Lyrics, ,

I tell myself I’ll be ok
That I don’t need it
I’ll get my life back
I’ll be normal.
But then that feeling comes
That need for it
That desperation
And I always give in.

I just can’t help it
It’s the new normal
It’s become an addiction
A dirty habit
I don’t know if I can
But I have to break free

Then comes the regret
I make myself sick
But it doesn’t matter
It’s already done.
No one can know
About my habit
They’ll send me away
But I’ll be ok.

I just can’t help it
It’s the new normal
It’s become an addiction
A dirty habit
I don’t know if I can
But I have to break free

They’ll tell me to stop
That what I’m doing is bad
But I’m trying to fix it
Just not the way they want
I’m going try my way
To fix my problem
To become normal
To become thin.

It’s become an addiction
A dirty habit
I don’t know why
But I just can’t break free

Love
Roxanne

Hide My Eyes

About Lyrics,

Real Me is about pretending to be ok and everyone believing it. But my eyes aren’t as good at hiding my emotions. So I usually hide my eyes. I don’t look people in the eyes as much as I should. I’m afraid they’ll see more than I want them to. I’m afraid I’ll connect with them and I’m not good with making connections.

I have my friends and I don’t want to make any new ones. The ones I have know what to expect from me. They know I won’t be so forth coming with my emotions. That’s all I want and that’s all I need.

So if you ever happen to see me and I don’t look you in the eyes, know that I mean you no disrespect. I am trying to get better though, so maybe I will look you eyes.

Love
Roxanne

Real Me

Lyrics,

My walls are up
My smile’s turned on
My eyes my only give away
They mess up my con.
This life is my stage
And I its player
The person you see
Is just the first layer

What you see is not what you get,
What you see is not what it seems.

To everyone around me,
I seem fun and light.
But when it’s time for the show to end,
It’s all darkness in the night.

I’ve been deceiving,
People think I’m happy.
But that’s just not true.
Why can’t they see
If you look past the smile
And into my eyes
You’d see this for what it is
Just a thin disguise

What you see is not what you get,
What you see is not what it seems.

To everyone around me,
I seem fun and light.
But when it’s time for the show to end,
It’s all darkness in the night.

When people look in my eyes
All they see is my pain.
So I keep them hidden.
No one can see when it rains.
I think I know the reason,
For my deceit.
I don’t believe anyone could like me,
So real me’s gotta take a backseat.

What you see is not what you get,
What you see is not what it seems.

To everyone around me,
I seem fun and light.
But when it’s time for the show to end,
It’s all darkness in the night.

Love
Roxanne

My Mask

About Lyrics

Blank Stare is about how I’ve changed into a new person, but I still act the same for the people around me. I used to be this happy kid but I grew up a little different.sometimes I pretend to still be the person, I pretend that I’m ok where I am right now. But I’m getting tired of putting up with things that piss me off.

At my place of work, everyday I’m finding new people who I just can’t stand. I no longer care about doing my job to the best of my ability, I’m just over it. But I need money to pay the bills, pay for my guitar and singing lessons (have I mention I was taking lessons), pay for my living expenses and holidays.

I wear this fake smile pretty much the majority of time I’m at work, just not when I’m with my work friends. I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to do something I enjoy, which is songwriting, but I can’t do that until I’m better at the guitar.

I wrote the lyrics to show that it’s like we are two different people. She’s the old me, the mask I try to keep in place. The lies we tell are when we say we’re fine, or sure I’d love to your stupid job for you. My blank stare is my resting face, or my resting, evil, bitch face as my friends like to call it. It’s the face I have when I’m not trying to be anyone else, not trying to fake some sort of emotion. I generally don’t like to show emotions.

It’s getting harder to keep up the facade.

Love
Roxanne

Blank Stare

Lyrics,

After a long hard day
I take off her mask
No longer the good girl
I drink from a flask
She always wore a smile
Today I can’t fake it
I’m not wearing it well
But how could I break it
I needed solid ground
To keep up this facade
But without her here
It all fell apart

I look in the mirror
Wearing my blank stare
I’m over pretending
And too tired to care
The girl that I was
She’s hiding somewhere
There’s no more plain jane
I’m wearing my blank stare

She had her life on straight
But I’d gotten bored
Her smile ever present
But I was ignored
The lies we told them
Even we believed
But she left me alone
In this mess we weaved
I try to move forward
Past what they can see
I’m stuck under the weight
Of who I used to be

I look in the mirror
Wearing my blank stare
I’m over pretending
And too tired to care
The girl that I was
She’s hiding somewhere
There’s no more plain jane
I’m wearing my blank stare

She was there in place
To make me feel numb
To be who they want
Why did I succumb
Her mask wore thin and
My emptiness won
Now I’m dead inside
What have I become

I look in the mirror
Wearing my blank stare
I’m over pretending
And too tired to care
The girl that I was
She’s hiding somewhere
There’s no more plain jane
I’m wearing my blank stare

Love
Roxanne

Sinceriously

About Lyrics,

The Day That I Met You is about when you meet someone who you know is bad for you, that you know will only break your heart, but you just have to be with them. Something about them just makes you want to be near them even though you know it will cause you pain. A Bad Boy.

I just realised that this sounds a lot like Taylor Swift’s I Knew You Were Trouble. I guess great songwriters think alike. Just kidding, but I would love to one day be compared to her. She just seems so real.

Now since I’m like eternally single, I haven’t actually been in this situation, but this is what I imagine it would be like. That’s how it is in the movies. I watch a lot of movies. And TV shows. Sinceriously. One time I counted and it was like 50.

Love
Roxanne

P.S Even though I used the word Sinceriously, this is not related to Stephen Amell

P.P.S If you don’t know who Stephen Amell is, you should look him up because he is an awesome human being

The Day I Met You

Lyrics, ,

My black nail polish is chipped
And my eye makeup has smeared
From day one I knew this would end
But I didn’t care or fear it
I was drawn to you and your charm
Like a moth to a burning flame
I needed to be around you
But two couldn’t play your game
It’s like the middle of winter
Living in your cold selfish heart
I knew I would only get hurt
But I fell too hard and fast

I could see the end before we even began
You’re the rusty nail I couldn’t help but step on
The out of control fire I just had to touch
Or the doomed flight I needed to get on
We were a car crash and I couldn’t walk away
I stayed long enough to watch my heart break
From the day I met you I knew it’d end this way
Because I had feelings you just couldn’t fake

My long hair was tied in knots
And the colour has washed out
He said he wanted to talk
But I knew what it was about
I could feel this day coming
Ever since I came home that day
I found her lying in my bed
I don’t know why I even stayed
Just your average love story
The good girls meets the bad boy
I wished for a happy ending
But I was just your play toy

I could see the end before we even began
You’re the rusty nail I couldn’t help but step on
The out of control fire I just had to touch
Or the doomed flight I needed to get on
We were a car crash and I couldn’t walk away
I stayed long enough to watch my heart break
From the day I met you I knew it’d end this way
Because I had feelings you just couldn’t fake

I lost it
I couldn’t take it no more
I stuck by you all this time
And you leave me for that whore
I lost it
I threw your favourite glass
It hit the door you just slammed
The pieces shattered my heart

I could see the end before we even began
You’re the rusty nail I couldn’t help but step on
The out of control fire I just had to touch
Or the doomed flight I needed to get on
We were a car crash and I couldn’t walk away
I stayed long enough to watch my heart break
From the day I met you I knew it’d end this way
Because I had feelings you just couldn’t fake

Love
Roxanne

The Day I Was Sent To The School Councillor

About Lyrics,

Unclear was written when I was in year 9. It’s basically about how I wanted to be done with high school and just skip to the part where I was happily married with a job I loved, and I baby on the way.

I didn’t like not knowing what the future would hold or what I wanted to do in life. But then, I realised, that skipping ahead means you miss all the fun you can have while you’re young and you miss out on a lot of opportunities.

When I wrote this, I pasted it in the front of my school diary, kind of like I do now, except it was a lot less public. My year advisor saw it one day, probably while giving me a detention for not having my hair up, and he found it distressing.

I don’t know why, it’s probably one of the least depressing lyrics I’ve written. After having a chat to me about whether I was ok, he then sent me to see the school councillor. I then had to explain to the councillor that writing helps to let out any emotions I have that are keeping me down.

If only that year advisor could see some of the stuff I write now.

Love
Roxanne

Unclear

Lyrics, ,

I found some old lyrics that I wrote when I was much younger. I thought I’d share them with you.

I hate not knowing
Where I’ll be
Ten years from now
It’s an untold story

Today I cannot see
What the future holds
It’s all unclear
Not written in bold

What comes next
Where to from here
It’s all one big question
And the answers I fear

Today I cannot see
What the future holds
It’s all unclear
Not written in bold

If I could skip ahead
I wouldn’t miss a beat
All the places I’d go
All the people I’d meet

Today I cannot see
What the future holds
It’s all unclear
Not written in bold

I hate my life
I hate where I am
I wish to go back
And do it all again

Today I cannot see
What happened to my past
And all those good times
They went by so fast

Love
Roxanne

Distorted Ideas

About Lyrics, ,

Love Is is about how these days people have this idea that love is perfect. They seem to think that once you find the one that you’ll never fight and life will great. This is wrong.

Fairy tales and movies has distorted people’s ideas of what being in love is like. It’s not realistic. Even with The One, you will still argue, you will fight. If you go into a relationship and at the first fight you think that that must mean they’re not The One, then no one will ever be The One.

Don’t think that I’m immune to this. I, myself, am guilty of it too. We just have to be aware that just because you fight doesn’t mean you aren’t perfect together, and just because you don’t fight doesn’t mean you are.

Love
Roxanne