Monthly Archives: September 2015

This Was Real Life

About Lyrics, , , ,

I wrote I Am Not Ok because a while ago, I went through something and people still ask questions about it. Like in-depth questions and I just don’t want to talk about it. I mean I’ll give a brief over view of the event but when it comes to the why’s and the how’s, those type of things take me back to that day.

I’m not traumatised by it, at least I don’t think I am, but I don’t want to have to relive it just because some people get a thrill out of hearing drama.

This was not a movie or a TV show. This was real life, it happened to me and some other people and we deserve the right to move on and live our lives without that being the most interesting thing about us.

If you find out something happened to someone you know, please wait for them to bring it up. Even if it was months ago, or years, they may not feel like answering your invasive questions.

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, I’m just really annoyed at a select few people who wanted detailed play by plays of what went down. One was while I was getting my blood pressure tested. Do you know how hard it is to try and keep your heart rate down while talking about a pretty stressful day?

Love
Roxanne

I Am Not OK

Lyrics, , , , , , ,

The past is closing in
It’s from his gun I hide
From the blood and the screams
I’m still hiding inside
The memory of him
Walks the halls like a ghost
When will the terror end
He wasn’t a good host

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

I tried to move on
You kept pulling me back
To bomb threats and violence
And those panic attacks
That day was in the past
The chaos in order
Won’t you let me forget
The cafe of slaughter

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

I wish for silence
Don’t let them see
Fight back the tears
Just let me be
No please don’t ask
You don’t wanna know
I can’t fight the tears
I just let them go

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

Love
Roxanne

Slow Down Your Soul’s March

About Lyrics, ,

Isolated all started with the chorus. Sometimes I’ll get this chorus that I think sounds awesome but then I’ll have no idea what it’s really about. Then I’ll have to spend time thinking over the chorus asking myself “What does this mean?” That’s how these lyrics worked, although it seemed pretty obvious where it was going this time.

It’s about how sometimes life just sucks. Bad things happen all the time and it can really get you down. Kinda makes you wonder what the point is, why go through all this crap just to have to go through more crap tomorrow?

If you can’t find that special thing that makes life feel like it’s worth living then you might be tempted to give up, particularly, if you feel like you’re all alone in this world. Luckily, I’ve got some things to get me through each day, that help me look towards the future and not hate it. Not dread it.

If you haven’t found you special something, then maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. As your soul marches towards its death, take a few detours. Stop and smell the flowers or try a change in scenery. Do what you can to slow down your souls march.

Love
Roxanne

Isolated

Lyrics, , ,

As the skies turn to grey
My eyes are open wide
We choose to live in the dark
While dying on the inside
Now we’re all ageing flesh
And as my broken down soul
Marched towards its death
It never felt so old

I’m isolated
And medicated
You know how quickly
This escalated
I’m isolated
And so frustrated
The world we live in
Is overrated

We all know that inner hate
A hell we can’t overcome
Embraced by each cold day
I just want to stay numb
While I crave the chaos
And love to watch it burn
Each day I grow tired
Why can’t it be my turn

I’m isolated
And medicated
You know how quickly
This escalated
I’m isolated
And so frustrated
The world we live in
Is overrated

I never felt so hopeless
Cause in the end it’s pointless
How did we get so lifeless
Are these dark days endless
I never felt so hopeless
Cause in the end it’s pointless
How did we get so lifeless
Are these dark days endless

I’m isolated
And medicated
You know how quickly
This escalated
I’m isolated
And so frustrated
The world we live in
Is overrated

Love
Roxanne

We Are All Crazy

About Lyrics, ,

Lies is about not knowing when you’re going crazy or not or trying to fight it when you think you are. Like when you day-dream so much that sometimes you forget which things actually happened and which you made up. Or when you have an argument with yourself in your mind but you accidentally respond out loud.

We all have a little bit of crazy in us but the goal is to not let the crazy win. To stay in touch with reality and remember that the voice you’re arguing against is just your own self-doubt. You should probably just turn that voice to shut up, because it’s usually wrong.

Love
Roxanne

Lies

Lyrics, , ,

There’s no way you can escape
From voices in your mind
Words only you can hear
You can’t run, you can’t hide
Thoughts running through my head
Questioning all I do
You’re only insane if
The voices answer you

There’s a war taking place
In the trenches of my mind
Every day I face
There’s more battles to fight
Those voices in my head
Memories of a dream
They’re lies you should forget
They are not what they seem

I gotta find the line
Between what’s real and fake
Cause living in your dreams
Means nothing when you wake
So don’t close your eyes
You know sleep is for the dead
And one day you’ll wake up
Trapped inside your head

There’s a war taking place
In the trenches of my mind
Every day I face
There’s more battles to fight
Those voices in my head
Memories of a dream
They’re lies you should forget
They are not what they seem

All the worries I kept inside
All those things I tried to hide
There are things that you can’t fight
Before darkness meets the light
All the worries I kept inside
All those things I tried to hide
There are things that you can’t fight
Before darkness meets the light

There’s a war taking place
In the trenches of my mind
Every day I face
There’s more battles to fight
Those voices in my head
Memories of a dream
They’re lies you should forget
They are not what they seem

Love
Roxanne