I Can Breathe Again

Every night I wake
As the screaming starts
I’m just gasping for air
To slow my racing heart
I try hard to forget
So I’ll play hide and seek
With these feelings inside
I never wish to meet
I’m ok for now
But it just won’t last
These feelings I hide
They won’t stay in the past

I need a future
Where this doesn’t happen
Just waiting for the day
When I can breathe again
I just need to know
Will it ever end
I’m tired of waiting
When can I breathe again

Just below to surface
I can feel those I hide
I still wake up gasping
I’m too tired to fight
People say talking helps
So on the couch I lie
The way things are now
It couldn’t hurt to try
Hiding hadn’t worked
Neither had pretending
This is my last hope
Of this nightmare ending

I need a future
Where this doesn’t happen
Just waiting for the day
When I can breathe again
I just need to know
Will it ever end
I’m tired of waiting
When can I breathe again

Screaming, gunshots, blood everywhere
Things I can’t hide behind my blank stare
Since that day I’ve been quite scared
Maybe it’s time I started to share

I need a future
Where this doesn’t happen
Just waiting for the day
When I can breathe again
I just need to know
Will it ever end
I’m tired of waiting
When can I breathe again

Love
Roxanne

Open To Interpretation

I have no idea what Nowhere is about. I had a tooth ache when I wrote it and was on some strong pain killers, so I can only guess at what it means.

I didn’t finish writing it while on the medication, I was only 3/4 of the way through it and then had to try to get in the same mind frame to finish it. Which, I gotta say, is not easy to do without taking some equally as strong pain meds.

When I finished it, I gave it some meaning that it probably didn’t have before, because it was just the thoughts of someone who wasn’t quite all there.

I can’t tell if ‘Nowhere’ is about someone who’s high and wondering about the meaning of life, if all they do is get high then what’s really the point. Life passes them by and they are stuck in this daze.

Or if ‘Nowhere’ is about someone who died and is living between this life and the next. Their life is flashing before their eyes but they just can’t move on yet.

Anyway, however you interpret it, you can’t wrong. It’s one of those open to interpretation things.

Although if you think it’s about unicorns and puppy dogs, your probably wrong. Probably.

Love
Roxanne

P.S. I should add a disclaimer saying “Don’t Do Drugs!!”

Nowhere

The world keeps spinning
But I’m not really here
There’s a fog around me
It doesn’t seem to clear
Some distant memories
Are clouding my mind
Of a time I can’t place
Of a place to unwind
I’m trying to focus
To find out what’s real
But I’m so far away
I don’t trust what I feel

I watch life go by
From behind my window
Cause I am nowhere
I’m stuck in limbo
I lie in the shadow
They walk in the sun
Cause I am nowhere
And I am no one

I stare off into space
Cause I’ve stopped blinking
Not floating in the clouds
I feel like I’m sinking
The weight on my chest
It’s pulling me down
I can feel the air
Between me and the ground
The lines are now blurred
I can’t tear them apart
Attached to the veins
That surround my empty heart

I watch life go by
From behind my window
Cause I am nowhere
I’m stuck in limbo
I lie in the shadow
They walk in the sun
Cause I am nowhere
And I am no one

What happens to the world
When you close your eyes
What happens to your soul
When your soul dies
If I’m not really here
Can I stop breathing
What happens to your body
When your heart stops beating

I watch life go by
From behind my window
Cause I am nowhere
I’m stuck in limbo
I lie in the shadow
They walk in the sun
Cause I am nowhere
And I am no one

Love
Roxanne

Realistic Zombie Love Story

I’ve mentioned before that I love horror movies, but I also love horror TV shows like The Walking Dead. Love Bite is about zombies. You might think its vampires, but it’s not. It’s zombies.

I kind of romanticised it by making the original zombie and his prey end up together. Well, as together as two dead things without feelings can be.

In the movies, people are always romanticising things that should scare us. Vampires live off human blood, but if one tries to refrain from drinking your blood, it must be meant to be. Same goes with zombies, if ones tries not to bite you, he must love you.

In my version, he chases her and she falls, because they always fall, then he bites her. She tries to hide, because she will soon be a threat to all those left alive, but he finds her. Just as he’s about to finish the job, she dies and turns into a zombie. Then, because they are both hunting for food and they both follow the same noises or smells, it’s like they are hunting together. Aaawww!!! Right, you guys. How romantic!

A realistic love story between to zombies.

Love
Roxanne

P.S I feel like I need to add that vampires don’t sparkle in the sun. They burn. *cough* Twilight *cough*

Love Bite

You’re coming closer
Walking slowly to me
I see it in your eyes
I know you want me
I start running away
Like we’re playing a game
I hope I’m hard to get
Cause you’ll eat my brain

Locked away
We thought we were safe
Now the halls are alive
With the sound of screaming
And there is no escape

Just like in the movies
I tripped over
You gave me a love bite
On my left shoulder
I pushed you away
To find a place to hide
No one is safe from me
Not since the bite

Locked away
We thought we were safe
Now the halls are alive
With the sound of screaming
And there is no escape

I feel myself changing
I’m starting to turn
I’m running a fever
Skin hot enough to burn
The door crashes open
All I can do is stare
And as the lights go out
I see you standing there

Locked away
We thought we were safe
Now the halls are alive
With the sound of screaming
And there is no escape

First he wanted my brain
As I ran for cover
Ever since that love bite
Now we hunt together

Locked away
We thought we were safe
Now the halls are alive
With the sound of screaming
And there is no escape

Love
Roxanne

It’s Not Always Anyone’s Fault

Without You Here is basically about how two people, no matter how hard they try, just aren’t meant to be together. In hindsight she probably should have realised that he wasn’t the one from their first date, but hey sometimes people don’t make good first impressions.

When relationships end, it’s not always anyone fault, and I wanted to write lyrics depicting that. She might have been the one to end it, but he wouldn’t have been happy too. He had to have known, had to have felt that something wasn’t right.

Well, anyway that my opinion on a story I made up.

Love
Roxanne

Without You Here

The story of our first date
Is just like a fairy tale
He’s the guy you meet before
A date destined to fail
The conversation flowed
Just like a frozen lake
Before we got to dinner
I knew this was a mistake
I could feel time ticking by
As we ate in silence
I was glad not to hear more
Of his work in finance

Sometimes I think I’m better off by myself

Dinners for one
Don’t feel so bad
I’m fine on my own
No overnight bag
Without you here
I can feel that spark
And my beating heart
Enjoy my life at last
Without you here
And all that I could do
The truth I never knew
Is that I don’t miss you

I gave us a second chance
Fast forward to next year
With our white picket fence
Life was sitting in first gear
Every night was the same
I’m making lists in my head
Or just lying awake while
He plays with me in our bed
I didn’t know what was wrong
But this didn’t feel right
Shouldn’t I love you by now
Instead I just think you’re nice

Sometimes I think I’m better off by myself

Dinners for one
Don’t feel so bad
I’m fine on my own
No overnight bag
Without you here
I can feel that spark
And my beating heart
Enjoy my life at last
Without you here
And all that I could do
The truth I never knew
Is that I don’t miss you

I can’t do this anymore
I just can’t live this way
Life shouldn’t be a chore
I want to enjoy each day
Being with you was like
Nails on a chalk board
You aren’t what I want in life
I left your things by the door

Dinners for one
Don’t feel so bad
I’m fine on my own
No overnight bag
Without you here
I can feel that spark
And my beating heart
Enjoy my life at last
Without you here
And all that I could do
The truth I never knew
Is that I don’t miss you

Love
Roxanne

Serial Cheaters

I Should Have Known is about those relationships where the guy is a serial cheater, but the girl keeps forgiving him because she loves him. He says he loves her and that he’s sorry, but then he does it again. This time it was the last straw.

It’s sad that there are girls out there who think they aren’t good enough to deserve a guy who loves them too much to cheat on them, but it happens. I, personally, am incapable of forgiving betrayal, so I couldn’t be ones these girls.

Yes, people make mistakes. Once is a mistake. Twice is a choice. I need girls to realise this.

I feel bad, because I’m a girl and I write in a girls perspective. I always feel like I’m attacking guys, but girls can be the cheaters too. So guys, I apologise. Not all of you are bad and not all girls are good.

Love
Roxanne

I Should Have Known

It’s late at night when you come home
Staring at a picture of us
Can’t help but think I should have known
You would do this to me again
I see her lipstick on your shirt
And is that Chanel I can smell
It almost doesn’t even hurt
So I ask what happened this time

And this is what he said

The room is dark and hazy
And people are getting crazy
I feel the bass in my bones
And my gaze begins to roam
Then I see her standing there
Though who she is I don’t care
Cause I would show her the world
Even if she’s not my girl

Of course this isn’t the first time
That you found some girl to climb
Like a kid in a candy store
You had me but you wanted more
You always seem to put me last
So now all that is left to ask
As my world begins to shatter
Does this between us not matter?

And this is what he said

The room is dark and hazy
And people are getting crazy
I feel the bass in my bones
And my gaze begins to roam
Then I see her standing there
Though who she is I don’t care
Cause I would show her the world
Even if she’s not my girl

This isn’t something I’ll forget
Unlike your footprints in the sand
Cause even if you feel regret
This can’t just be washed away
So go on now say you’re sorry
It’s what you do when you confess
This time you don’t have to worry
Cause I won’t be taking you back

This is what he said

The room is dark and hazy
And people are getting crazy
I feel the bass in my bones
And my gaze begins to roam
Then I see her standing there
Though who she is I don’t care
Cause I would show her the world
Even if she’s not my girl

Love
Roxanne

A Girl Can Dream

It would suffice to say I wasn’t the most popular girl in high school. I had friends, good friends that I’m still friends with now, but we weren’t the most desirable group of girls. At least according to the guys in our year. But towards the beginning of high school, before our status was really cemented, one of the popular guys showed interest in me.

We had to sit next to each other in several different classes and after a while he started to like me. When he told me he liked me, I didn’t believe him. I thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t. He asked me out and I said yes.

But it was weird because we didn’t hang out outside of class, nothing really changed. Except his friends were apparently trying to get him to break up with me because I wasn’t good enough, popular enough, for him.

After three days he gave in and had one of his friends break up with me for him.

‘This Isn’t High School’ is about that and how I wasn’t good enough for them then, but I’ve changed. I’m no longer that girl, I’ve grown into a more confident, more self-assured version of her. It’s about how if they could see me now, what would they think of me, would they still judge me the same way.

Yes, in the lyrics I’m a famous singer and that hasn’t happened, but a girl can dream. Part of the lyrics are real, the other I’m calling a premonition.

Love
Roxanne