I Remember

I found the box you left for me with all of my stuff
Who knew it’d be so easy to fall out of love
You were my everything why wasn’t I enough
When did living with me become just too tough

I remember
The nights we spent dancing in Paris
All alone with the moon and the stars
And bike riding across Amsterdam
I’d replay each moment from the start

When even the flowers you gave me have long ago died
I keep telling myself there’s no reason left to fight
But that won’t stop me from breaking down inside
And I won’t tell you about the nights that I cried

I remember
The days we spent swimming in the sea
Or the night we got drunk in a bar
Drinking more than a few wines in Rome
I’d replay each moment from the start

But I just can’t stand still
Watching you move on
Staring at pictures on the wall
Won’t change a thing we’re done

I remember
The time we spent believing in magic
We thought that Loch Ness couldn’t be far
Even those night it rained in London
I’d replay each moment from the start

Love
Roxanne

Survive Another Day

Stay was written by piecing together bits of lyrics that have come to me and then kinda filling in the blanks. I started with the first 2 lines of the Chorus and then went back over my notes to see what else I had come up with the that talked about demons or darkness or evil, then I edited them to make it fit.

But then I wanted it to mean more than just being about Hell. I thought about why so many little bits of lyrics I write talk about darkness. It’s a depression thing.

So I edited the lyrics so that it’s like the demons and darkness are like my depression wanting me to take my own life, that’s the fight going on between the light and the dark, and all that talk of going to Hell is really just me going to a Psychiatric Facility to get help.

None of this really happened, but I really like the line ‘Whoever wins you both must stay’ because it’s like saying even if you survive this fight, there’s always tomorrow’s. With depression, every day is a fight, every day is like living in Hell.

I hope you survive today’s fight.

Love
Roxanne

Stay

How could I leave this town
Where only dead things grow
Of all the paths to choose from
I know it’s the only road
With the devil on my shoulder
And the angel losing it’s fight
The voices whisper in my ear
I must suffocate the light

Follow your demons to the depths of hell
Who will win only time will tell
The flames will dance and the shadows will play
Whoever wins you both must stay

When the spell was cast at dawn
It’s time for demons to hide
The darkness claws out of me
Leaving me hollow inside
Waiting for night to fall
Is worse than watching blood dry
When evil comes out to play
Your soul begins to cry

Follow your demons to the depths of hell
Who will win only time will tell
The flames will dance and the shadows will play
Whoever wins you both must stay

You’ve gone too far there’s no turning back
The light is gone and your soul is black
But at the gates you can only smile
Better add psychotic to your file

Follow your demons to the depths of hell
Who will win only time will tell
The flames will dance and the shadows will play
Whoever wins you both must stay

Love
Roxanne

I Will Not Forget

Paint The Walls was written after the one year anniversary of a day I’ll never forget. The Lindt Cafe siege in Sydney. I was at work about 5 metres away when it started.

I’ve written other lyrics in the months following that day but they were more emotional and I wanted to write something now that a bit more time has passed. Something less about what I felt and more about what happened after.

The amount of people that stopped by afterwards, not to pay their respects, but to take a selfie in front of the building was disgusting. One family tried to get in and see the inside. It was still a crime scene and these parents wanted to take their young children in to see where 2 innocent lives were lost.

And don’t get me started about the media. You should have seen the amount of cameras there were the day of the grand reopening.

I still get angry when I think about the days following 15/12/14. But not everyone was so disrespectful. There were so many flowers that they had to keep finding new places where people could put them.

I used to think about that day everyday. Working so close didn’t really help. I can’t imagine what it’s like for those working in Lindt that day that still work there. But lately I’ve found that I’m thinking about it less and less.

I don’t want to forget about it. I don’t want to forget the lives that were lost and the lives that were changed forever. I feel that if I stop thinking about that day then those lives will be forgotten, like they didn’t mean anything. Like their tragic deaths didn’t mean anything. That would make the events of those 17 hours even more tragic.

I don’t want to forget. I will not forget.

Love
Roxanne

Paint The Walls

The bar wasn’t opened but I needed a drink
So much had happened I could hardly think
I was barely through the door when I was embraced
Back then not even I knew the things I faced
Defined by a day buried deep in my head
Old tears weren’t drying before new ones were shed
We saw not only the flowers and kind words
There were cameras rolling they came in herds

With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
How does it feel to know that while others bled
You were at home dreaming safely in bed
With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
When he stayed up late to paint the walls red
You were at home dreaming safely in bed

I witnessed the worst of human reactions
Like it was just another tourist distraction
People had questions and things to be said
But I had the answers programmed in my head
Daily reminders reawaken my fear
Those from the past always present and near
One day I’ll move forward next I’ll fall behind
And some days I hoped I’d never be fine

With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
How does it feel to know that while others bled
You were at home dreaming safely in bed
With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
When he stayed up late to paint the walls red
You were at home dreaming safely in bed

(He stayed up late to paint the walls red)
And gave my voice a story to tell
(He stayed up late to paint the walls red)
And every night more tears fell
(He stayed up late to paint the walls red)
Can you hear the sound of the church bells
(He stayed up late to paint the walls red)
And gave my voice a story to tell

With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
How does it feel to know that while others bled
You were at home dreaming safely in bed
With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
When he stayed up late to paint the walls red
You were at home dreaming safely in bed

Love
Roxanne

Fix Yourself

I wrote Reassemble Me based on a thought I had late one night. If only I came with instructions. Sometimes broken people have triggers that you can’t avoid without already knowing where they are. This can make you want to fix these broken people, to keep from hurting them, but that’s only temporary.

We need to fix ourselves, to learn how strong we are and how to pick ourselves back up after falling so far down. Being there for us might keep us from falling further, might make us feel better for a little while, but all that goes the moment you’re gone.

Sometimes you won’t even know you’ve landed a broken one until it’s too late to back out. Some of us have learned to hide it well, even keeping little triggers a secret so people won’t see the mess below the surface.

We can seem cool calm and collected and then one day you accidentally step on a land mine and….. Bang! I don’t envy those people. It’s not exactly what they bargained for, but at least you know that those that stick around are probably keepers. And now you have a new reason to fix yourself. If not for you, then for the person who loves you enough to stick by you through the bad days.

Always Keep Fighting.

Love
Roxanne

Reassemble Me

I came to you battered and bruised
With scars so deep I’m torn in two
But at arm’s length you never knew
The broken thoughts I kept from you
I wake each day and start my fight
With band aids I keep inside
From demons you can’t know I hide
Til I’m wrapped around a street light

I know this isn’t what you had in mind
Picking up pieces of my broken heart
But trying to fix me will take time
So just hold me while I fall apart
If you try to talk through the tears
Even if it came from your heart
Your words will fall on tired ears
So just hold me while I fall apart

My self-made false reality
Hides a minefield just below your feet
Each step there’s a risk you can’t see
I’m not the only one who will bleed
For days I’m lost in my own disguise
Til I start tearing on the inside
When the cracks start to show at midnight
Takes more than love to bring me to life

I know this isn’t what you had in mind
Picking up pieces of my broken heart
But trying to fix me will take time
So just hold me while I fall apart
If you try to talk through the tears
Even if it came from your heart
Your words will fall on tired ears
So just hold me while I fall apart

Gone is the girl who resembles me
Please bring her back, reassemble me
Gone is the girl who resembles me
Please bring her back, reassemble me
Gone is the girl who resembles me
Please bring her back, reassemble me

I know this isn’t what you had in mind
Picking up pieces of my broken heart
But trying to fix me will take time
So just hold me while I fall apart
If you try to talk through the tears
Even if it came from your heart
Your words will fall on tired ears
So just hold me while I fall apart

Love
Roxanne

Enjoy Life

Nothing But Time is about how everyone is always so focused on the little things in life, like work, bills and taxes, that they forget to actually enjoy it. Excluding accidents and illnesses, we’re all on this Earth for a long time and some of us spend our entire lives without truly living.

We were not born just to work until we die. We should continue learning and growing right up until the end. That’s my plan. I work to pay for my holidays to experience more of the world.

Living in Australia means you grow up kind of isolated from every other country and most people never leave the part of Australia they grew up in. I refuse to be one of those people. I have been to 16 different countries so far and I have a plan to make 30.

I have grown more and learnt more from traveling to see those countries than probably through all those years of school. I done more things, faced more fears, than I thought I ever would and I feel that I have truly lived.

Life is not only about marriage, a house and kids. We should explore more and learn more about other people and cultures so that when we do settle down, we have more to teach our kids about the world.

The point is we shouldn’t live each day for a future that may never happen. Enjoy yourselves. Enjoy life.

Love
Roxanne

Nothing But Time

I want to get out
Let’s plan our escape
We can leave this town
And run from our fate
Follow the sunset
Leave it all behind
It’s time now to reset
Relax and unwind

Take the hands off the clock
We’ve got nothing but time
No road maps to follow
Only mountains to climb
Stop and steal the roses
Because it’s not a crime
To wander off this path
We’ve got nothing but time

Take in the bright lights
Cities that never sleep
We can spend our lives
Living out our dreams
So follow your heart
Make new memories
Forget what has past
This is our journey

Take the hands off the clock
We’ve got nothing but time
No road maps to follow
Only mountains to climb
Stop and steal the roses
Because it’s not a crime
To wander off this path
We’ve got nothing but time

Run to the horizon
We can get away
It’s time to live bigger
What’s standing in our way
Run to the horizon
Escape yesterday
There’s only tomorrow
So let’s start today

Take the hands off the clock
We’ve got nothing but time
No road maps to follow
Only mountains to climb
Stop and steal the roses
Because it’s not a crime
To wander off this path
We’ve got nothing but time

Love
Roxanne