Tag Archives: Depression

Survive Another Day

About Lyrics, , , ,

Stay was written by piecing together bits of lyrics that have come to me and then kinda filling in the blanks. I started with the first 2 lines of the Chorus and then went back over my notes to see what else I had come up with the that talked about demons or darkness or evil, then I edited them to make it fit.

But then I wanted it to mean more than just being about Hell. I thought about why so many little bits of lyrics I write talk about darkness. It’s a depression thing.

So I edited the lyrics so that it’s like the demons and darkness are like my depression wanting me to take my own life, that’s the fight going on between the light and the dark, and all that talk of going to Hell is really just me going to a Psychiatric Facility to get help.

None of this really happened, but I really like the line ‘Whoever wins you both must stay’ because it’s like saying even if you survive this fight, there’s always tomorrow’s. With depression, every day is a fight, every day is like living in Hell.

I hope you survive today’s fight.

Love
Roxanne

Stay

Lyrics, , , ,

How could I leave this town
Where only dead things grow
Of all the paths to choose from
I know it’s the only road
With the devil on my shoulder
And the angel losing it’s fight
The voices whisper in my ear
I must suffocate the light

Follow your demons to the depths of hell
Who will win only time will tell
The flames will dance and the shadows will play
Whoever wins you both must stay

When the spell was cast at dawn
It’s time for demons to hide
The darkness claws out of me
Leaving me hollow inside
Waiting for night to fall
Is worse than watching blood dry
When evil comes out to play
Your soul begins to cry

Follow your demons to the depths of hell
Who will win only time will tell
The flames will dance and the shadows will play
Whoever wins you both must stay

You’ve gone too far there’s no turning back
The light is gone and your soul is black
But at the gates you can only smile
Better add psychotic to your file

Follow your demons to the depths of hell
Who will win only time will tell
The flames will dance and the shadows will play
Whoever wins you both must stay

Love
Roxanne

Fix Yourself

About Lyrics, , , , ,

I wrote Reassemble Me based on a thought I had late one night. If only I came with instructions. Sometimes broken people have triggers that you can’t avoid without already knowing where they are. This can make you want to fix these broken people, to keep from hurting them, but that’s only temporary.

We need to fix ourselves, to learn how strong we are and how to pick ourselves back up after falling so far down. Being there for us might keep us from falling further, might make us feel better for a little while, but all that goes the moment you’re gone.

Sometimes you won’t even know you’ve landed a broken one until it’s too late to back out. Some of us have learned to hide it well, even keeping little triggers a secret so people won’t see the mess below the surface.

We can seem cool calm and collected and then one day you accidentally step on a land mine and….. Bang! I don’t envy those people. It’s not exactly what they bargained for, but at least you know that those that stick around are probably keepers. And now you have a new reason to fix yourself. If not for you, then for the person who loves you enough to stick by you through the bad days.

Always Keep Fighting.

Love
Roxanne

I Am Not OK

Lyrics, , , , , , ,

The past is closing in
It’s from his gun I hide
From the blood and the screams
I’m still hiding inside
The memory of him
Walks the halls like a ghost
When will the terror end
He wasn’t a good host

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

I tried to move on
You kept pulling me back
To bomb threats and violence
And those panic attacks
That day was in the past
The chaos in order
Won’t you let me forget
The cafe of slaughter

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

I wish for silence
Don’t let them see
Fight back the tears
Just let me be
No please don’t ask
You don’t wanna know
I can’t fight the tears
I just let them go

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

Love
Roxanne

Slow Down Your Soul’s March

About Lyrics, ,

Isolated all started with the chorus. Sometimes I’ll get this chorus that I think sounds awesome but then I’ll have no idea what it’s really about. Then I’ll have to spend time thinking over the chorus asking myself “What does this mean?” That’s how these lyrics worked, although it seemed pretty obvious where it was going this time.

It’s about how sometimes life just sucks. Bad things happen all the time and it can really get you down. Kinda makes you wonder what the point is, why go through all this crap just to have to go through more crap tomorrow?

If you can’t find that special thing that makes life feel like it’s worth living then you might be tempted to give up, particularly, if you feel like you’re all alone in this world. Luckily, I’ve got some things to get me through each day, that help me look towards the future and not hate it. Not dread it.

If you haven’t found you special something, then maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. As your soul marches towards its death, take a few detours. Stop and smell the flowers or try a change in scenery. Do what you can to slow down your souls march.

Love
Roxanne

Isolated

Lyrics, , ,

As the skies turn to grey
My eyes are open wide
We choose to live in the dark
While dying on the inside
Now we’re all ageing flesh
And as my broken down soul
Marched towards its death
It never felt so old

I’m isolated
And medicated
You know how quickly
This escalated
I’m isolated
And so frustrated
The world we live in
Is overrated

We all know that inner hate
A hell we can’t overcome
Embraced by each cold day
I just want to stay numb
While I crave the chaos
And love to watch it burn
Each day I grow tired
Why can’t it be my turn

I’m isolated
And medicated
You know how quickly
This escalated
I’m isolated
And so frustrated
The world we live in
Is overrated

I never felt so hopeless
Cause in the end it’s pointless
How did we get so lifeless
Are these dark days endless
I never felt so hopeless
Cause in the end it’s pointless
How did we get so lifeless
Are these dark days endless

I’m isolated
And medicated
You know how quickly
This escalated
I’m isolated
And so frustrated
The world we live in
Is overrated

Love
Roxanne

The Difference Between Life And Death

About Lyrics, , ,

Please Don’t is about bullying, physical and cyber bullying, and how sometimes that’s all a person needs to push them over the edge, to commit suicide.

You never know what’s going on inside someone’s mind or in their life. One comment from could you could be the difference between life and death, so you should always make yours a positive one.

I wrote this after some comments I saw on Twitter. There was a bit of an internet war between two different groups of fans and one fandom created a hashtag that said the other fandom should cut deeper next time. There’s never a reason to wish someone would kill themselves.

Bullying and suicide rates have gone up since the invention of social media because it’s harder to protect children against it, but also once a comment is made on social media, it doesn’t just blow away in the wind. It sits there, further emphasising it in the victims mind.

Not to diminish the effect of in person bullying, but that’s not usually happening in the home. A child might go to school and get bullied but, before social media, that’s where it ended. They got a break. But now, it doesn’t have doesn’t there.

Even if it’s a joke, if you don’t mean it, your words affect others. Please think about this next time you go to say something. Or if your on the receiving end of the bullying and you think they only way to stop it is if you kill yourself, please don’t.

Love
Roxanne

Please Don’t

Lyrics, , ,

I just want it to stop
Kids can be so cruel
I thought they’d like me
But I was just a fool
They wouldn’t talk to me
And I was laughed at
They called me a freak
And not behind my back
I couldn’t take it no more
I was losing control
So I did what I had to
To climb out of this hole

If only someone would say

Please don’t hurt yourself
I need you to fight
Don’t let their darkness
Takeover your light
Please just hold on
It’s not always this hard
It does get better
Don’t let this day be your last

I can’t do this anymore
With internet these days
Not even home is safe
Cause on my screen it stays
They can’t see how it hurts
Not from behind their keyboard
Now I long for those days
Where I was ignored
And it only got worse when
They found out I’m a bleeder
They had friendly advice like
I think you should cut deeper

If only someone would say

Please don’t hurt yourself
I need you to fight
Don’t let their darkness
Takeover your light
Please just hold on
It’s not always this hard
It does get better
Don’t let this day be your last

I’m drowning in a sea of darkness
There’s no escape its endless
As the blood runs down my hand
I promise this won’t happen again

Please don’t hurt yourself
I need you to fight
Don’t let their darkness
Takeover your light
Please just hold on
It’s not always this hard
It does get better
Don’t let this day be your last

Love
Roxanne

You Are Not Alone

A Little Piece Of Me, About Lyrics,

Ok so I wrote The Edge only recently and I thought it was important to share. Those words are from my own head. They are my own thoughts. Although I haven’t cut myself, I have imagined it. There are days where I don’t want to fight anymore, where I’m not satisfied with just standing on the metaphorical edge of life, where I feel like I want to just step off. I fight it, but each day it’s getting harder.

I used to fight it on my own, but recently I told my mother I think I might have depression. In my family, it’s not really a surprise. Depression and/or anxiety issues seem to run in the family. At least now someone knows. They can help me, lend me support if I need it. Of course you guys know as well and I think it helps talking to you about it.

I’m not really a therapy person. I wouldn’t know where to start or what to say. Here, I’m just telling you my thoughts on lyrics I’d written and where the idea came from. Where the idea came from for these lyrics, was me. It’s me. My inner thoughts and feelings that I don’t/can’t share.

I’m at a point where I no longer fear the day I can no longer fight. But I still do and if you have any of the same thoughts and feelings I’ve expressed in The Edge or here, than I would ask you to fight too. We can both get through this.

You are not alone. I’m here. I’m here for you, if you need me. All you have to do is ask.

Love
Roxanne

The Edge

Lyrics, ,

I can’t help that shine in my eyes
The one I always blame on dust
But I won’t let the tears fall
Or else my cold heart will rust
I can feel my heart breaking
Just when lying in my bed
Running through today’s mistakes
They’re doing laps in my head
My internal clock ticking
The end is near I feel it
And as each days passes by
I now fear, I don’t fear it

I want this to be over
My mistakes are piled high
I’m standing on the edge
Nothing to stop me this time
I know I should come back
This weights pulling me down
I don’t want to give in
But it’s almost time now

My dreams are getting darker
They’re filled with so much pain
But then I open my eyes
And my life is just the same
I’ve imagined myself bleed
More time than I could count
Cause I feel empty inside
And I need to let it all out
I feel the pressure growing
Just a small cut won’t kill me
But I’ve gone too deep now
The emptiness will fill me

I want this to be over
My mistakes are piled high
I’m standing on the edge
Nothing to stop me this time
I know I should come back
This weights pulling me down
I don’t want to give in
But it’s almost time now

I can’t live like this anymore
With one foot in and out the door
The times come for me to decide
Whether I want to live or hide
It’s a war playing in my mind
I can’t let darkness win this time

I want this to be over
My mistakes are piled high
I’m standing on the edge
Nothing to stop me this time
I know I should come back
This weights pulling me down
I don’t want to give in
I don’t want to die now

Love
Roxanne