Tag Archives: Future

Alone

I’m screaming, why can’t you see
I’m hurting, won’t you help me
You’ll bend over backward for everyone else
Do I even come close
There’s this perfect girl you want me to be
Do you know she isn’t me

All alone in my room
You know what to do
I’m crying
Why’d you leave me alone
When you should have known
I’m dying

I’m breathing, why’s it so hard
I’m screaming, will the healing start
Every smile starts to feel like a lie
Do you believe I’m fine
One day I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again
How will it end

All alone in my room
You know what to do
I’m crying
Why’d you leave me alone
When you should have known
I’m dying

I’m trying, I’m crying, I’m hurting, I’m dying
I’m trying, I’m crying, I’m hurting, I’m dying
I’m trying, I’m crying, I’m hurting, I’m dying
No more trying, no more crying, I’m dying

All alone in my room
You know what to do
I’m crying
Why’d you leave me alone
When you should have known
I’m dying

Love
Roxanne

Little Secret

There’s a voice in my head
And it tells me bad things
I can’t repeat what it said
I’m a puppet on its strings
But I pray for wings
After its come and gone
All that’s left is a scar
And only I mourn
So sit back and laugh
At the girl with the broken heart

It’s our little secret
We can’t all be perfect
Filled with shame and regret
Is this as dark as it gets
It’s our little secret
We’re all a bloody mess
One you wish to forget
Is this as dark as it gets

I used to think it was my fault
That I was not good enough
It turned me cold
Like a don’t give a fuck
But it was all too much
I’m drowning in it
Why can’t you see
I’ve been through some shit
And I’m fighting to breathe
Where have you been

It’s our little secret
We can’t all be perfect
Filled with shame and regret
Is this as dark as it gets
It’s our little secret
We’re all a bloody mess
One you wish to forget
Is this as dark as it gets

I opened myself up
To a drunken mess
And either you forgot
Or you tried your best
I’m spiralling down
Now watch me bleed
I’m empty now
Why can’t you see me
Maybe you were better off
Without me

It’s our little secret
We can’t all be perfect
Filled with shame and regret
Is this as dark as it gets
It’s our little secret
We’re all a bloody mess
One you wish to forget
Is this as dark as it gets

Love
Roxanne

Chase It

I’m sitting and thinking and going insane
I’m stuck in limbo and everyday is the same
I’m trying and fighting to breathe through each day
But this life ain’t living things need to change
When hoping and praying just isn’t enough
You need to got out swinging you need to get tough

You can hide behind your dreams all day
But don’t day dream your days away

Life doesn’t happen unless you make it
And you won’t be happy if you fake it
When you want something you need to chase it
And once you have it, don’t forsake it

I’m looking and searching for something to do
I need to get out and see something new
Chilling and waiting for good things to come to you
Won’t make dreams come to life, won’t make them come true
When I’m screaming and crying from all the rejection
I’ll know I lived life so full, to perfection

You can hide behind your dreams all day
But don’t day dream your days away

Life doesn’t happen unless you make it
And you won’t be happy if you fake it
When you want something you need to chase it
And once you have it, don’t forsake it

When life gets you down you gotta get back up
Keep going, going, going, going, going.
When you’re on the path but you get stuck
Keep going, going, going, going, going.
When you stop trying, hoping for a little luck
Keep going, going, going, going, going.
When life gets you down you gotta get back up
And keep going.

You can hide behind your dreams all day
But don’t day dream your days away

Life doesn’t happen unless you make it
And you won’t be happy if you fake it
When you want something you need to chase it
And once you have it, don’t forsake it

Love
Roxanne

Oh, Well.

You know, when you start seeing someone you’ve known for years in a whole new light and suddenly they seem like a totally different person. That’s what Dawn is about.

I was quite angry when I wrote this and I wasn’t holding back. Now some time has past and I’m getting over it. I haven’t forgotten the new light I see them in, but I’ve pushed it to the back of my mind.

It’s amazing how hard I try to avoid conflict. It’s not fun fighting with people, so I prefer to hide those feelings in the deepest darkest parts of my mind and once they’re there, I can treat that person like I would any other day.

That’s probably it healthy, right? Well that is for future Roxanne to deal with.

Besides, writing helps heal most wounds. You know, just not the real, literal wounds.

God, I hope one day I don’t explode from all the conflicts I’ve avoided.

Oh, well.

Love
Roxanne

Wanderlust

So, yesterday I made an impromptu decision to join my friends on their trip to Japan. After clearing with work first of course. Considering I’m going to Canada in less than two weeks and didn’t have enough holiday days to go to Japan for two weeks.

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I cleared it with work and booked my flights and accommodation. I’m going on two overseas holidays this year. It’s just lucky I had enough money saved that I could afford it all. But that’s what my money has always been for. I work so that I can travel.

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I have already visited 15 countries in less that five years, 17 by the end of this year, and my wanderlust doesn’t seem to be fading at all. If anything it’s getting stronger. With each country I visit I want to see more, experience more cultures. Japan had never really been on my list of places to see, until recently, and now I’m super excited about going.

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I like seeing how other people live, what they consider a normal part of their life and comparing it to my own. I now know how small my life really was growing up. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have grown up in Australia with two loving parents and two siblings. I went to a private school, had decent clothes and went waterskiing on the weekend. I had a pretty good upbringing, but I lived in a bubble.

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I’m starting to learn how big the world really is and it’s changing me. When people I went to school with are getting married and having kids, I just don’t see the point. I used to think having a boyfriend was so important, but it’s not.

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There’s more to life than having some guy buy you dinner. If I found someone to go with me to see the world that might be a different story, but until that day, I won’t settle for anyone who doesn’t see the world as I do or isn’t even open to it.

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I can’t wait to experience more of what life has to offer, or what more I could life about the world and about myself.

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Love
Roxanne

Live Your Life

Sweet Dreams was written about my desire to travel. It’s kinda been taking over my mind lately, probably because I’m going to Canada in June, but I’m also already planning a trip to Europe for next year.

I wrote it because all over Facebook recently, people my age (23) and younger have been getting married and announcing that they’re pregnant, which, you know, congrats as long as they are happy, but I just can’t imagine putting my own dreams on hold for someone else. So I just want to tell people who have these dreams to travel or do something with their life that they aren’t already doing, that they should go and do it now before something comes up and that option is taken away from them forever.

Life is too short not to do what makes you happy, but long enough that once you’ve gone out and lived life the way you wanted, you have time to settle down. That’s my belief anyway. If you die before you settle, before having kids, you’re not going to regret it. Those kids won’t grow up without a parent and you never knew what it was like to have a child. If you die before you got a chance to really live, that you’ll regret.

I want to live and die with no regrets. To see the countries I want to see, to try things I want to try and to learn things I want to learn. Sometimes things change when we don’t want them to change, and sometimes things stay the same when we do want them to change. Sometimes you need to make the change to see the future you want. To be the person you want.

Love
Roxanne

Sweet Dreams

When the world is telling you to stop
But all you want to do is move
Take those steps to your own beat
No one can tell you what to do
If you follow your own brick road
Waking up shouldn’t be a chore
So take the road less traveled
We’re not in Kansas anymore

Take the road outta this town
And get your ass on a plane
Leave the land where time stands still
And get the hell outta this place
When your wishes are all but granted
When your sweet dreams fade to black
You’ve got time for a road trip
Cut the ties holding you back

You can’t live your life in fear
Of when life decides to make changes
So don’t let your own voice stop you
Or the unkindness of strangers
Find your reason to wake up each day
You should live to sleep when you’re dead
I came I saw I conquered it all
Should be written on your death bed

Take the road outta this town
And get your ass on a plane
Leave the land where time stands still
And get the hell outta this place
When your wishes are all but granted
When your sweet dreams fade to black
You’ve got time for a road trip
Cut the ties holding you back

Those who keep time let time fly by
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
So go on get out your guitar
A watched clock doesn’t sing
Run to the edge of the world
Leave all your troubles behind
Don’t say you’ll do it tomorrow
Hurry up cause you’re out of time

Take the road outta this town
And get your ass on a plane
Leave the land where time stands still
And get the hell outta this place
When your wishes are all but granted
When your sweet dreams fade to black
You’ve got time for a road trip
Cut the ties holding you back

Love
Roxanne

I Am Happy

I wrote What If about a conversation a had with this guy once where I wasn’t totally honest, and if I had told the truth, it may not have been the last time that we ever spoke. Of course, my inability to be vulnerable strikes again.

He recently followed me on Instagram (iam_roxanne in case you were wondering) and it made my think about our last conversation and if I had been telling the truth or not when he asked me if I had feelings for him. I said no and I don’t know if that was true and if it wasn’t, would he have said he had feelings for me too? Would we have started dating? Would we still be together?

I had so many questions that I couldn’t answer so I decided to write some lyrics about it. I had the chorus first. It’s basically just all the thoughts I had at the time. The rest was harder. By the time I started to write the rest I wasn’t in the same head. I was no longer panicking about maybe making a mistake. But I got there in the end.

I don’t think I made a mistake. He has been seeing this girl since not long after our last conversation. He seems happy. And I’m happy too. I guess the moral of this story is if it’s meant to be it’ll happen and don’t stress about the decisions you’ve made in the past, it’s too late to change them and they’ll only put a damper on your future.

Love
Roxanne

What If

Kept awake by those memories
Looking for easy remedies
I can’t escape what could have been
Hurting because I should have seen
Standing alone in an empty field
Unprotected and without a shield
It’s my fault I’m watching from a far
If only I’d been honest from the start

What if I opened up
What if I let you in
Would we be in love
Would it mean a thing
If I said those words
If you felt the same
Could there be a world
Where I’m not to blame
What if

Tracing the lines of the scar
Carved deep in my lonely heart
In the end I got what I deserve
I wasn’t willing to say those words
So the green-eyed monster’s locked away
I know that I can’t stay this way
Cause if there is a happy ending
I won’t find it by pretending

What if I opened up
What if I let you in
Would we be in love
Would it mean a thing
If I said those words
If you felt the same
Could there be a world
Where I’m not to blame
What if

Secret glances, second chances
Can’t have one without the other
No more glances, wasted chances
You two are made for each other

What if I opened up
What if I let you in
Would we be in love
Would it mean a thing
If I said those words
If you felt the same
Could there be a world
Where I’m not to blame
What if

Love
Roxanne

 

That’s My Plan

I Remember is a love story, written from the perspective of the one who was still in love about the one who had moved on.

Relationships and love and stuff are hard. Every time you enter a relationship you are either going to spend the rest of your life with that person or you’ll break up. And the idea that one of you can just fall out of love, without any warning, is scary.

For that reason and many more, I’ve never really been the relationship girl. So I’ve never had to deal with a break up. Never gotten my heart broken by some guy. I consider myself lucky that way, but that’s just me.

But I have been to all those places in the lyrics and they are amazing. I can’t wait to go there again, whether it be by myself, with friends or family or a significant other, because I loved my time there and I won’t let someone else dictate how I live. So I guess my point is that if some guy decides he doesn’t love you anymore, his loss BTW, then go travelling by yourself. Live your life they you want and finds someone who’ll want to live it with you.

That’s my plan.

Love
Roxanne