Tag Archives: Guilt

What If

Kept awake by those memories
Looking for easy remedies
I can’t escape what could have been
Hurting because I should have seen
Standing alone in an empty field
Unprotected and without a shield
It’s my fault I’m watching from a far
If only I’d been honest from the start

What if I opened up
What if I let you in
Would we be in love
Would it mean a thing
If I said those words
If you felt the same
Could there be a world
Where I’m not to blame
What if

Tracing the lines of the scar
Carved deep in my lonely heart
In the end I got what I deserve
I wasn’t willing to say those words
So the green-eyed monster’s locked away
I know that I can’t stay this way
Cause if there is a happy ending
I won’t find it by pretending

What if I opened up
What if I let you in
Would we be in love
Would it mean a thing
If I said those words
If you felt the same
Could there be a world
Where I’m not to blame
What if

Secret glances, second chances
Can’t have one without the other
No more glances, wasted chances
You two are made for each other

What if I opened up
What if I let you in
Would we be in love
Would it mean a thing
If I said those words
If you felt the same
Could there be a world
Where I’m not to blame
What if

Love
Roxanne

 

I Will Not Forget

Paint The Walls was written after the one year anniversary of a day I’ll never forget. The Lindt Cafe siege in Sydney. I was at work about 5 metres away when it started.

I’ve written other lyrics in the months following that day but they were more emotional and I wanted to write something now that a bit more time has passed. Something less about what I felt and more about what happened after.

The amount of people that stopped by afterwards, not to pay their respects, but to take a selfie in front of the building was disgusting. One family tried to get in and see the inside. It was still a crime scene and these parents wanted to take their young children in to see where 2 innocent lives were lost.

And don’t get me started about the media. You should have seen the amount of cameras there were the day of the grand reopening.

I still get angry when I think about the days following 15/12/14. But not everyone was so disrespectful. There were so many flowers that they had to keep finding new places where people could put them.

I used to think about that day everyday. Working so close didn’t really help. I can’t imagine what it’s like for those working in Lindt that day that still work there. But lately I’ve found that I’m thinking about it less and less.

I don’t want to forget about it. I don’t want to forget the lives that were lost and the lives that were changed forever. I feel that if I stop thinking about that day then those lives will be forgotten, like they didn’t mean anything. Like their tragic deaths didn’t mean anything. That would make the events of those 17 hours even more tragic.

I don’t want to forget. I will not forget.

Love
Roxanne

Get Out Of My Head

I’m trying to hide
Don’t let them find me
What was that noise
What’s the dark hiding
I feel them staring
That voice in my head
Telling me to come
Why won’t they stay dead

No I don’t want to
Please don’t make me
No I won’t do it
You won’t break me
Just leave me alone
Get out of my head
It wasn’t my fault
Why do I see red

I see their body
Wherever I go
Now I hear their voice
Almost like they know
I was their that day
But it wasn’t me
I couldn’t stop him
I still hear their plea

No I don’t want to
Please don’t make me
No I won’t do it
You won’t break me
Just leave me alone
Get out of my head
It wasn’t my fault
Why do I see red

Tears fall down my face
No what have I done
You got in my head
And now you’ve won
How did you do it
I’ll be with you soon
I wish you’d stay dead
Which way to my tomb

No I don’t want to
Please don’t make me
No I won’t do it
You won’t break me
Just leave me alone
Get out of my head
It wasn’t my fault
But now I’m dead