Tag Archives: Hostage

I Will Not Forget

A Little Piece Of Me, About Lyrics, , , , , , ,

Paint The Walls was written after the one year anniversary of a day I’ll never forget. The Lindt Cafe siege in Sydney. I was at work about 5 metres away when it started.

I’ve written other lyrics in the months following that day but they were more emotional and I wanted to write something now that a bit more time has passed. Something less about what I felt and more about what happened after.

The amount of people that stopped by afterwards, not to pay their respects, but to take a selfie in front of the building was disgusting. One family tried to get in and see the inside. It was still a crime scene and these parents wanted to take their young children in to see where 2 innocent lives were lost.

And don’t get me started about the media. You should have seen the amount of cameras there were the day of the grand reopening.

I still get angry when I think about the days following 15/12/14. But not everyone was so disrespectful. There were so many flowers that they had to keep finding new places where people could put them.

I used to think about that day everyday. Working so close didn’t really help. I can’t imagine what it’s like for those working in Lindt that day that still work there. But lately I’ve found that I’m thinking about it less and less.

I don’t want to forget about it. I don’t want to forget the lives that were lost and the lives that were changed forever. I feel that if I stop thinking about that day then those lives will be forgotten, like they didn’t mean anything. Like their tragic deaths didn’t mean anything. That would make the events of those 17 hours even more tragic.

I don’t want to forget. I will not forget.

Love
Roxanne

Paint The Walls

Lyrics, , , , , ,

The bar wasn’t opened but I needed a drink
So much had happened I could hardly think
I was barely through the door when I was embraced
Back then not even I knew the things I faced
Defined by a day buried deep in my head
Old tears weren’t drying before new ones were shed
We saw not only the flowers and kind words
There were cameras rolling they came in herds

With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
How does it feel to know that while others bled
You were at home dreaming safely in bed
With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
When he stayed up late to paint the walls red
You were at home dreaming safely in bed

I witnessed the worst of human reactions
Like it was just another tourist distraction
People had questions and things to be said
But I had the answers programmed in my head
Daily reminders reawaken my fear
Those from the past always present and near
One day I’ll move forward next I’ll fall behind
And some days I hoped I’d never be fine

With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
How does it feel to know that while others bled
You were at home dreaming safely in bed
With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
When he stayed up late to paint the walls red
You were at home dreaming safely in bed

(He stayed up late to paint the walls red)
And gave my voice a story to tell
(He stayed up late to paint the walls red)
And every night more tears fell
(He stayed up late to paint the walls red)
Can you hear the sound of the church bells
(He stayed up late to paint the walls red)
And gave my voice a story to tell

With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
How does it feel to know that while others bled
You were at home dreaming safely in bed
With the threat of a bomb hanging over your head
Walking down the street like it’s dawn of the dead
When he stayed up late to paint the walls red
You were at home dreaming safely in bed

Love
Roxanne

This Was Real Life

About Lyrics, , , ,

I wrote I Am Not Ok because a while ago, I went through something and people still ask questions about it. Like in-depth questions and I just don’t want to talk about it. I mean I’ll give a brief over view of the event but when it comes to the why’s and the how’s, those type of things take me back to that day.

I’m not traumatised by it, at least I don’t think I am, but I don’t want to have to relive it just because some people get a thrill out of hearing drama.

This was not a movie or a TV show. This was real life, it happened to me and some other people and we deserve the right to move on and live our lives without that being the most interesting thing about us.

If you find out something happened to someone you know, please wait for them to bring it up. Even if it was months ago, or years, they may not feel like answering your invasive questions.

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, I’m just really annoyed at a select few people who wanted detailed play by plays of what went down. One was while I was getting my blood pressure tested. Do you know how hard it is to try and keep your heart rate down while talking about a pretty stressful day?

Love
Roxanne

I Am Not OK

Lyrics, , , , , , ,

The past is closing in
It’s from his gun I hide
From the blood and the screams
I’m still hiding inside
The memory of him
Walks the halls like a ghost
When will the terror end
He wasn’t a good host

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

I tried to move on
You kept pulling me back
To bomb threats and violence
And those panic attacks
That day was in the past
The chaos in order
Won’t you let me forget
The cafe of slaughter

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

I wish for silence
Don’t let them see
Fight back the tears
Just let me be
No please don’t ask
You don’t wanna know
I can’t fight the tears
I just let them go

I don’t wanna hear
Your fake sympathy
Are you enjoying this
There’s nothing to see
I don’t want you here
So just go away
Cause how am I doing
I am not ok

Love
Roxanne

It’s All Quiet Now

Lyrics, ,

It started the same
Just a normal day
But now who’s to blame
For the mess they made
There was yelling
We locked our door
There was no telling
If we’d make it out
But with a window
We found a way
We need no hero
To save the day
So down the ladder
To escape the man
We did scatter
Lest we see his gun

It’s all quiet now
But we’re still here
It’s all quiet now
Why do we still fear
When can we leave
Why can’t we escape
It’s all quiet now
What will be our fate

I made it out
But I’m still there
Every shout
Takes me back there
Back to that day
When we were hiding
Finding our way
Trying to break free
I can’t escape it
That day in my head
I try and fake it
But it’s there waiting
Panic starts to rise
Just as the sun sets
Cause I need the light
To fight the nightmares

It’s all quiet now
But we’re still here
It’s all quiet now
Why do we still fear
When can we leave
Why can’t we escape
It’s all quiet now
What will be our fate

Please let us out
You’re safe inside
But if he comes
We can’t hide
Please let us out
You’re safe inside
What if he comes
With his gun

It’s all quiet now
But we’re still here
It’s all quiet now
Why do we still fear
When can we leave
Why can’t we escape
It’s all quiet now
What will be our fate