Tag Archives: Writing

Alone

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I’m screaming, why can’t you see
I’m hurting, won’t you help me
You’ll bend over backward for everyone else
Do I even come close
There’s this perfect girl you want me to be
Do you know she isn’t me

All alone in my room
You know what to do
I’m crying
Why’d you leave me alone
When you should have known
I’m dying

I’m breathing, why’s it so hard
I’m screaming, will the healing start
Every smile starts to feel like a lie
Do you believe I’m fine
One day I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again
How will it end

All alone in my room
You know what to do
I’m crying
Why’d you leave me alone
When you should have known
I’m dying

I’m trying, I’m crying, I’m hurting, I’m dying
I’m trying, I’m crying, I’m hurting, I’m dying
I’m trying, I’m crying, I’m hurting, I’m dying
No more trying, no more crying, I’m dying

All alone in my room
You know what to do
I’m crying
Why’d you leave me alone
When you should have known
I’m dying

Love
Roxanne

Little Secret

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There’s a voice in my head
And it tells me bad things
I can’t repeat what it said
I’m a puppet on its strings
But I pray for wings
After its come and gone
All that’s left is a scar
And only I mourn
So sit back and laugh
At the girl with the broken heart

It’s our little secret
We can’t all be perfect
Filled with shame and regret
Is this as dark as it gets
It’s our little secret
We’re all a bloody mess
One you wish to forget
Is this as dark as it gets

I used to think it was my fault
That I was not good enough
It turned me cold
Like a don’t give a fuck
But it was all too much
I’m drowning in it
Why can’t you see
I’ve been through some shit
And I’m fighting to breathe
Where have you been

It’s our little secret
We can’t all be perfect
Filled with shame and regret
Is this as dark as it gets
It’s our little secret
We’re all a bloody mess
One you wish to forget
Is this as dark as it gets

I opened myself up
To a drunken mess
And either you forgot
Or you tried your best
I’m spiralling down
Now watch me bleed
I’m empty now
Why can’t you see me
Maybe you were better off
Without me

It’s our little secret
We can’t all be perfect
Filled with shame and regret
Is this as dark as it gets
It’s our little secret
We’re all a bloody mess
One you wish to forget
Is this as dark as it gets

Love
Roxanne

Chase It

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I’m sitting and thinking and going insane
I’m stuck in limbo and everyday is the same
I’m trying and fighting to breathe through each day
But this life ain’t living things need to change
When hoping and praying just isn’t enough
You need to got out swinging you need to get tough

You can hide behind your dreams all day
But don’t day dream your days away

Life doesn’t happen unless you make it
And you won’t be happy if you fake it
When you want something you need to chase it
And once you have it, don’t forsake it

I’m looking and searching for something to do
I need to get out and see something new
Chilling and waiting for good things to come to you
Won’t make dreams come to life, won’t make them come true
When I’m screaming and crying from all the rejection
I’ll know I lived life so full, to perfection

You can hide behind your dreams all day
But don’t day dream your days away

Life doesn’t happen unless you make it
And you won’t be happy if you fake it
When you want something you need to chase it
And once you have it, don’t forsake it

When life gets you down you gotta get back up
Keep going, going, going, going, going.
When you’re on the path but you get stuck
Keep going, going, going, going, going.
When you stop trying, hoping for a little luck
Keep going, going, going, going, going.
When life gets you down you gotta get back up
And keep going.

You can hide behind your dreams all day
But don’t day dream your days away

Life doesn’t happen unless you make it
And you won’t be happy if you fake it
When you want something you need to chase it
And once you have it, don’t forsake it

Love
Roxanne

Empty Mind

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An empty mind
And a cold heart
Still I don’t stop
‘Til the bleeding starts
The moments gone
And I remain
What does this mean
Am I insane

The music’ s stopped
It’s quiet now
Too much goes on
Can’t keep it down
The night is dark
And dawn is near
What happens next
Is my worst fear

No more running
Can’t hide from this
The prof is there
With a red twist
Where it comes from
I couldn’t say
And when it goes
It fades away

The music’ s stopped
It’s quiet now
Too much goes on
Can’t keep it down
The night is dark
And dawn is near
What happens next
Is my worst fear

It’s getting colder
I can’t let go
It’s getting closer
Where can I go
It’s getting colder
I hope you know
I’m getting closer
Time to let go

The music’ s stopped
It’s quiet now
Too much goes on
Can’t keep it down
The night is dark
And dawn is near
What happens next
Is my worst fear

Love
Roxanne

Unicorns Are Real

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It was love at first sight
I knew he was the one
He was my best friend
And we always had fun
There’s butterflies in my stomach
He makes my heart beat faster
If you think this is real
Then you need to be smarter

Love like this
It doesn’t exist
It’s a fairytale
Like making a wish
If unicorns are real
And rainbows have a pot of gold
Maybe then I’ll believe in magic
But right now I’m far from sold

I want to Netflix and chill with
Someone on cold rainy days
If I ask you if you love me
And you come back with always
Someone to make jokes to see you laugh
To hug you when you’re sad
If this is what love is like
I guess it wouldn’t be so bad

Love like this
It doesn’t exist
It’s a fairytale
Like making a wish
If unicorns are real
And rainbows have a pot of gold
Maybe then I’ll believe in magic
But right now I just wanna be sold

Unicorns are real
I believe in magic
Unicorns are real
I wish for a love like this
Unicorns are real
I believe in magic
Unicorns are real
I wish for a love like this

Love like this
It doesn’t exist
It’s a fairytale
Like making a wish
If unicorns are real
And rainbows have a pot of gold
Maybe then I’ll believe in magic
And right now I believe I’m sold

Love
Roxanne

Oh, Well.

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You know, when you start seeing someone you’ve known for years in a whole new light and suddenly they seem like a totally different person. That’s what Dawn is about.

I was quite angry when I wrote this and I wasn’t holding back. Now some time has past and I’m getting over it. I haven’t forgotten the new light I see them in, but I’ve pushed it to the back of my mind.

It’s amazing how hard I try to avoid conflict. It’s not fun fighting with people, so I prefer to hide those feelings in the deepest darkest parts of my mind and once they’re there, I can treat that person like I would any other day.

That’s probably it healthy, right? Well that is for future Roxanne to deal with.

Besides, writing helps heal most wounds. You know, just not the real, literal wounds.

God, I hope one day I don’t explode from all the conflicts I’ve avoided.

Oh, well.

Love
Roxanne

Be Nice

About Lyrics, , ,

So, Freak was written at a time when I was thinking about how people see me. I was wondering what they think of me just from passing me in the street. I have green hair and tattoos and there are a lot of people who don’t like that.

They probably see me and think I’m some tough goth or biker chick who wouldn’t care that they are judging me but, despite my hard exterior, I’m actually quite soft on the inside. I watch rom coms and Disney movies and sometimes I cry when watching a sad movie.

I do have feelings. They may be buried so deep so that I can make it through a day without screaming or yelling at someone or crying, but they’re there.

Just something to think about when you pass someone who looks tough in the street. Every person has a story worth knowing.

Love
Roxanne

Dawn

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Looking at you now I don’t know who you are
I never ever thought you would go this far
You could kiss every guy I have ever met
Cause if he’s not a frog I haven’t met him yet
I pick myself up and no ones there to catch me
And I will survive without you just watch me
You could take the spotlight from right under my feet
But my time will come so why don’t you have a seat

I’m always coming second best to first born
Left wandering the halls in the hours before dawn
I tried to keep up but you left me behind
You said you could change but did you even try

After all this time can you feel your crown slipping
I’ve finally seen all those lies you’ve been spinning
You took away my voice and made me feel small
But to everyone else you’re the belle of the ball
Who would want resting bitch face when they can have you
You’re easier to talk to and easier to screw
Everything’s broken now and you can’t fix it
But you were the one who did nothing but risk it

I’m always coming second best to first born
Left wandering the halls in the hours before dawn
I tried to keep up but you left me behind
You said you could change but did you even try

I can tell that you don’t know what you’ve done to me
So some day some how I’ll just have to make you see
I can see that you don’t know how deep you’ve cut me
Some day somehow I’ll just have to make you see

I’m always coming second best to first born
Left wandering the halls in the hours before dawn
I tried to keep up but you left me behind
You said you could change but did you even try

Love
Roxanne

Wanderlust

A Little Piece Of Me, , , , , , , , ,

So, yesterday I made an impromptu decision to join my friends on their trip to Japan. After clearing with work first of course. Considering I’m going to Canada in less than two weeks and didn’t have enough holiday days to go to Japan for two weeks.

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I cleared it with work and booked my flights and accommodation. I’m going on two overseas holidays this year. It’s just lucky I had enough money saved that I could afford it all. But that’s what my money has always been for. I work so that I can travel.

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I have already visited 15 countries in less that five years, 17 by the end of this year, and my wanderlust doesn’t seem to be fading at all. If anything it’s getting stronger. With each country I visit I want to see more, experience more cultures. Japan had never really been on my list of places to see, until recently, and now I’m super excited about going.

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I like seeing how other people live, what they consider a normal part of their life and comparing it to my own. I now know how small my life really was growing up. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have grown up in Australia with two loving parents and two siblings. I went to a private school, had decent clothes and went waterskiing on the weekend. I had a pretty good upbringing, but I lived in a bubble.

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I’m starting to learn how big the world really is and it’s changing me. When people I went to school with are getting married and having kids, I just don’t see the point. I used to think having a boyfriend was so important, but it’s not.

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There’s more to life than having some guy buy you dinner. If I found someone to go with me to see the world that might be a different story, but until that day, I won’t settle for anyone who doesn’t see the world as I do or isn’t even open to it.

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I can’t wait to experience more of what life has to offer, or what more I could life about the world and about myself.

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Love
Roxanne

Freak

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The girl you see walking down the street
She walks in rhythm to a different beat
Her heads held high, she is self assured
So don’t waste a smile, you’ll be ignored
Her hearts so cold she doesn’t even care
She won’t spare your feelings when your soul is bare
With eyes that sparkle and pull you in deep
If looks could kill she’d be the death of me

She’s a green haired, green eyed, tattooed freak
Wears dresses so short giving everyone a peak
Got eyes that follow her everywhere she goes
But who is this girl in the tight black clothes

The girl you see walking all alone
She’d rather be listening to her headphones
She might force a smile to pretend that she’s nice
But you should know she’s both fire and ice
The glare that she’s wearing its ‘cos she hates us
She won’t let you in a ten foot radius
With the sun on her skin and her head in the sky
She thinks she’s better than you so don’t even try

She’s a green haired, green eyed, tattooed freak
Wears dresses so short giving everyone a peak
Got eyes that follow her everywhere she goes
But who is this girl in the tight black clothes

What does her boyfriend think of her outlandish ways
When she changes her look with the latest craze
She wants us to judge her on what we can see
God forbid they try to get to know me

She’s a green haired, green eyed, tattooed freak
Wears dresses so short giving everyone a peak
Got eyes that follow her everywhere she goes
But who is this girl in the tight black clothes

Love
Roxanne